Love me for eternity

As an artist it feels good being a troubled soul. It can be easier to dig deeper and express more. And sometimes there are those who find themselves attracted to the troubled soul; to a deep, doubtful, insecure person that pulls from within to create art.

The problem is no one really wants to settle down with someone who has long-running issues. No one would want to agree to an eternity of trying to help a person overcome their issues with emotions and confidence…

Maybe the forever kind of love isn’t for me.
At least it’s not for the person that wants to love me for eternity.

I hope he knows what he’s getting himself into.

So, today happened (February 20th, 2014)

I wanna plan for creating tomorrow.

I wanna plan to wake up in the morning.
Make a fresh pot of coffee.
Do yoga, online, for a half hour hour
Shower, eat cereal.
Go to spot in La Jolla, look over UTC area, ride skateboard through sidewalk/tree area, bring camera,


And then I wanna go home,

I wanna do my Saul drawing. 
I wanna focus on it for hours.
I wanna listen to good music
I want the charcoal to flow
I want my eraser to shape
I want to turn my phone onto airplane mode.
I want to take hourly breaks
I almost wish I had weed and every hour I’d smoke a bowl
Maybe every hour I’ll ride my board around the block
Is that weird?

Who. fucking. cares.

Yes I’ll need to do my makeup, hair, get ready for work.
Yes I’ll need to deposit my money in the bank.
Yes I’ll need to eat a healthy meal before work
Which means the store
And cooking, cutting, washing…

So what I think I’ll do tonight is plan.
Plan on a post-it what I am to do tomorrow
So I am clean, healthy, free

I need to let my creativity free.